Well, well, well.
It's been less of a drawing filled month than I initially planned, due to physical pain giving me the recognition that I need to balance some things out. I have a Critiqued Schoolism course with Jonathan Hardesty focusing on the Essentials of Realism to look forward to in November, and likely more exciting instruction to follow, but nothing on that now.
For now, I'm sketching more again, but not as intensely as I had been, because I need to rest up to be full speed again in November for Jon's course. 100% feeling great with my hands and arms as soon as possible is the goal, obviously. I've had some difficult days with not being able to fulfill my artistic desires, but in many ways I have learned lessons from this. I feel that the balance I've needed is showing up with new clues for me on what it is I want to say in my work. Naturally knowing technique and having skills in art is essential, but to be true to one's essence of expressing oneself is a more intricate skill. As Bruce Lee says, "to express oneself honestly is very difficult to do."
I'm not going to continue to understand what that true expressing is through craftsmanship alone, and there is no waiting on this to come later. I have to abide to the necessities of my deepening of truth before conforming to thoughts of needing to be better at drawing through training. This is the path that I am more centered in, the path of mastery of Self, before the path of mastering my expression in art. They both add to each other of course, so we can say they're one, but there are other things that help the discovering of Self too.
One of these things that I feel a fresh attraction to is Qi Gong. It has proven to me how tense my movements, physical positioning and especially my arms, legs and hands are. Through the practice, I am feeling even more tense in some ways, but also looser. It is the way things happen. Such as, when you start to meditate consistently, you are seeing the lack of freedom while entering freedom. When I drank Kangen water for a time, I started to really hydrate myself, and felt thirstier the more I drank. The same goes with floating in sensory deprivation tanks. When you fall asleep in one, it is because you need rest and you finally created the conditions that could allow for that to show up.
I came to the realization the other day that helped me find some balance. It is that I have three main life long goals, right now. The first is to cultivate and live a Dhamma life, which is a life lived in line with the laws of nature; one of compassion and selfless service. The second is to create the story that has formed over my years of creating and is now going to first present itself as an illustrated novel, but will morph into who knows what as it builds momentum as a published IP. The third is to become a master fine artist. I like all good art, but when I think about the one art that requires the highest skill in observation and execution, it is fine art. If I have that as my final goal, the art I make for my story or for anything else will naturally be better in quality because of the quality of execution I am striving for. I also think that that direct experience of viewing a piece of art up close, made out of a personal vision by the artist, channeled through their inspiration and out of their fingers, is the most intimate the artist and viewer can get. I think story has its own great glory, but in regards to visual storytelling without words, the idea of painting originals from my own essence of what I want to create seems to capture my goal-setting thoughts.
I'm not sure what this next month brings for practice. I want to connect with some other artists through social media and start to bring some of my imagination sketches to a more show-able form. I'm also going to work on my story and bring aspects of that to life. I'm writing a little every day and I find it is fun and insightful. I also want to continue to work on all my artistic skill sets, including getting some proper oil clay and tools to do some of that, but we'll see what I can get around to. I've also started to fill a small sketchbook from life observation and imagination. The goal is having it filled by the end of September. I'd like to digest some information that I've already looked at and just continue fighting the good fight, as the master Jeff Watts says.
Thanks for following my journey,
Anthony
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